So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
