Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
