All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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