I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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