I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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