last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
