Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
