Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
