You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
