You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize