How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
