So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
