i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
