haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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