Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize