We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
