You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
