It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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