Swine flu. Run for my life!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
