I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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