i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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