I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im holly from the hills drunk
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize