the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
