My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
