I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
