can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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