Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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