my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
