Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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