I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
