Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
