what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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