You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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