The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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