I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
