Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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