Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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