I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
