i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize