hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
