I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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