as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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