Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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