i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
These tits shall not be calmed
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
