i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
