chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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