that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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