At least make sure they are 18
Why
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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