I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
