We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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