So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize