Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
