I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
