Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
