she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
