It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
