They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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