If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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