The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
