you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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