So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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