Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize