so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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