sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
