in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Randomize
